“Karma, My Cajun Heritage, and the Chip Confession”

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So, it must be a gift left to me from my Cajun heritage or something that I can eat just about anywhere; be it in a chair, at a table, on a bed, standing up, in the car, and am fine with it.

Harold, on the other hand NEEDS a table. We (“I”) always have a laugh when we are not at the table, as he struggles to get everything together without spilling food on himself, the couch, the floor, etc. He tolerates it, but it frustrates him to no end. By now, it’s just the joke of all jokes between us.

Last night, after a long day at work, we ended up eating some awesome sandwiches and chips in our hotel bed. So, we’re talking about the day and enjoying our food, when all of a sudden Harold’s bag of chips “leaked” a whole bunch of itty bitty chip crumbs on his side of the sheets.

Harold (like this was the first time it ever happened) gets totally frustrated at the sight of this mess on his side of the bed. But then, lo and behold, he just keeps eating! It’s hysterical to me that he just accepts it this time and keeps eating with that mess on his side of the bed (knowing that he is going to have to lie down in that later LOL). He MUST have been super tired.

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Soon enough, he gets up, gennntly lifts the sheets so he can swipe the chips off (still leaving a few remnants behind). Of course I’m laughing hysterically on the inside at this “deja vu”.

A few minutes later Harold decides to go get some yummy coffee from the coffee bar downstairs to go with our “Dulce du Leche” cheesecake (that I had bought earlier) for dessert.

While he was gone, it hit me. I thought, “How funny would it be to get some of those chip crumbs and sneak them ‘under’ the sheets on his side.” And so I did.

Later, when we were going to bed, he pulled back the covers and he could not believe that the chips had gotten all the way under the covers. He patiently cleaned it up again. I was dying on the inside trying to keep a straight face. He asked if I did it, and I denied the whole thing. This was fun! I tricked Harold! Yessss!

This morning he says with surprise, “You know, I thought that all of those chip crumbs might wake me up during the night, but I didn’t feel a thing!” I didn’t say a word.

A couple of hours later, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I made my confession. “Confession!” “What?” “Confession! I did it! I put the chips there! I did it and I can’t keep the secret anymore!” Harold laughs kind of like it’s funny and kind of like it’s not. [And, now he doesn’t trust me anymore.] 😦

But guess what woke ME up during the night?? CHIPS! On MY side of the bed!! (yawn)

The joke was on ME in the end!

My first and last “joke”. Ha. Ha.

“Heeeeere chippy chippy!” 🙂

 

 

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A One Person Slumber Party

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Tonight, (well 3 a.m. actually) I am, once again, having a one person slumber party, as opposed to just good old slumber.

Could it be the ice cream and decaf that I had before I went to bed? Or the dinner at 9:00 p.m. that consisted of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (because I didn’t want to eat anything ‘too heavy’ at such a late hour)? Or maybe it was the bedtime blog post about a very intense situation earlier in my day?  Or could it be because I’m being treated for a sleep disorder too? Orrrr just all of the above.

Either way, here I sit at 3:00 a.m. on my couch, laptop in front of me, wide awake. Just suddenly woke up – stone cold awake. Eyes wide open. As I tried desperately to go back to sleep, tossing and turning (with no success at all), I decided that I must be cold. So, in utter frustration, I jerked the heavier than dirt comforter really hard to cover myself thinking, “Eureka! I have found the problem! I must be cold!” …..until I hear my husband groan because I had grabbed the wrong end of heavier than dirt comforter, and I was actually jerking the covers off of him, waking him up too! “Poor guy”, I thought. It’s a wonder he gets any sleep at all sleeping next to an all night wiggle worm having a one-worm wiggle worm slumber party.

The only thing is, this is NOT a slumber party people. Slumber parties, last time I checked, were about having FUN!  This is NOT FUN. Then I began to get a little upset. My husband is NOT a “poor guy”! He has immediately gone back to sleep!  I, on the other hand, have not. What is wrong with this picture?

So, I just laid awake thinking and rethinking about what I’m thinking. What do you think I’m thinking about? Of all things, I’m now thinking about an obsession I feel coming on about getting up to write about not sleeping! Oh yes, it’s a full on obsession now. And I am now irritated that I have to keep looking up how to spell the word “obsession”! This is CRAZY! No, I’M not crazy, but a serious lack of sleep can make a person FEEL crazy – I think. Well maybe I won’t have to find out.  That would be nice. Yes, that would be very, very nice.

At this point, I am becoming increasingly undone and beside myself. I now throw the heavier than dirt comforter off of me and I promptly launch myself out of bed (another great middle of the night idea -NOT) to rush over to my computer, because I now have this “great idea/obsession” (that CANNOT wait until morning), to write about not sleeping since I’m not sleeping anyway. Is that a run on sentence?  Anyway, do you get where this is going? It’s going nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. The dogs are snoring. THEY are sleeping, and I am not. My HUSBAND is sleeping, and I am not.  As far as I know, the WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD is sleeping, and I am not. No, the WHOLE WORLD is sleeping, and I am not.

Aha! This is the dreaded, middle of the night, “stinking thinking”; and now I know that I will most likely not be going back to sleep.

As I am obviously not in my wise mind right now, I have seriously convinced myself that God should have made our brains with an ON/OFF switch. For real! God has the best ideas ever!  Why oh why didn’t he think of that? A simple on/off switch. It could have been SO great! Is that too much to ask? So simple for God. He’s God!! He could have at least made us a switch. I mean, it could be something as simple as touching the tip of our nose, or tugging on an ear lobe! It’s not rocket science for God! But God probably doesn’t need a switch, so maybe he thought that we didn’t need one either.  But HE gets to be God. He doesn’t HAVE to sleep. People are not God, and they NEED to sleep. God is the one who made me that way – to NEED sleep.

Oh, wait. Now it’s God’s fault??? OMG, I’m actually getting mad at God now???  OHHHH, this is waaay wrong. HE isn’t the one who ate ice cream and decaf late last night after a 9:00 p.m. “dinner” of peanut butter and jelly. HE wasn’t the one franticly blogging before bedtime. And He wasn’t the one watching TV before bed either.

Now my stomach is growling. Why is my stomach growling?  I ate dinner (and dessert :/) really late, and I should NOT be hungry!  I AM NOT going to the refrigerator!  No I am NOT!  “It is not good to eat in the middle of the night. It can make a person gain weight”, I tell myself. Never mind the fact that eating ice cream and decaf and peanut butter and jelly late at night can also make a person gain weight.

But, I AM awake, so why not just make this an early breakfast? No no no, if I do that, I’ll probably want to go back to sleep – with another full stomach – and then, when I wake up again laterand I’m hungry again, what will I eat?  Breakfast again? Lunch? Dinner? I’m so confused. Maybe I should eat nothing later because I feel so guilty about eating again now? It’s 3:00 a.m. What am I doing? What is happening here?

Welcome to the world of insomnia and sleep disorder. I truly have had this issue since I was a young child. But as a child, I just learned to deal with it somehow. Our parents didn’t take us to the doctor back then for insomnia. Heck, that word wasn’t even in my parent’s vocabulary. No it was not. My parent’s solution was to yell, “Go back to bed!” And that was that. But as you get older, you DON’T ‘just deal’ with it anymore. Unfortunately, it deals with you. And there you have it.

BRB, I’m starving and I’m headed to the fridge :(.

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