One day Boudreaux asked Marie, “Cher, would you still have married me if my daddy hadn’t lef me all dat money?” Marie tells him, “Boudreaux, I would have married you no mattuh who lef you all dat money !”
The State Police Roadblock
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was drivin’ down duh levee de udda dey engagin’ in they favorite pastime, drinkin’ beer. As they round duh turn, dey saw a State Police roadblock ahead, and Thibodeaux him, he says, “Boudreaux, if dem Troopers see us wid dis beer, dey gonna bust us.”
Boudreaux tells him, “Don’t worry Thib, we’ll just pull over right dere, finish our beers, peel de labels off de bottles, and stick dem on our foreheads, and throw de empty bottles in de ditch. Dey ain’t gonna know nuttin'”. Thibodeaux says, “Mais what dat’s gonna do ?” Boudreaux tells him, “You jus’ be quiet, an’ let me do de talkin’ .”
When they drive up to the roadblock, the first ting the Trooper asks is, “Hey! You fellas been drinkin’?” Boudreaux, pointing to his forehead, says, “Oh, no suh. We used to do dat, but now we on de patch !”
The Speed Limit
Thibodeaux and Boudreaux was driving down the Interstate yesterday, but Thibodeaux him, he was only driving about 10 miles an hour. Traffic was passing dem leff and right, 18 wheelers was swervin’ all ovah da place tryin’ to keep from slamming into dem, and dat traffic was a mess!
A State Troopuh sittin’ near da ovahpass, saw dis, and proceed to pull Thibodeaux ovah. The Trooper ax Thibodeaux, “Thibodeaux! Why you goin’ so slow?” Thibodeaux reply, “Mais, Ossifer, I always drive de speed limit. Look! Dere’s da sign right dere,…..it says “10”!
The Trooper says, “Thibodeaux, you big dummy! Das de highway sign! Dis is Innastate 10!”
De Trooper looks in da car and notice Boudreaux shakin’ and sweatin’, and ax him what da problem is. Boudreaux say, “Boy, I sure wish you had stop us 10 minute ago when we was on highway 182!”
“Tee” Boudreaux At The Pool
“Tee” Boudreaux was at the local public swimming pool yesterday, when one of the lifeguards approached him, “Hey, you can’t pee in de pool! I’m gonna have to ax you to leave.”
“Tee” Boudreaux tells him, “But everybody pees in da pool!”
The lifeguard replies, “Yeh, but not from da diving board!”
The Backseat Drivers
Boudreaux was driving down the road the other day, with his wife, Marie, and his mother-in-law in the car.
Every couple hundred yards, the two women would take turns telling him something about his driving. “Slow down!” “Watch dat car!” “Don drive too close to da line, no!” “Look out fo dat curve, yes!” On and on it went.
After awhile this started to get on Boudreaux’s nerves. He slams on the brakes and pulls onto the shoulder of the road.
Turning to Marie, he says, “Look…who’s driving dis car? You or yuh mama?”
Thibodeaux owned a farm. He had an old mule he used to pull the plow in his fields. It was a good, hard-working mule, so he took real good care of it, even giving it a place to sleep in the barn. The only problem was, that every evening when he tried to put the mule into the barn for the night, the mule’s long ears would brush the top of the barn door, driving the mule nuts and causing him to kick at everything.
In order to solve this problem, Thibodeaux decided to cut a larger opening at the top of the door, so the mule’s ears would not touch. As he was working on the door, his good friend Boudreaux happened by, and of course inquired as to what Thibodeaux was doing. Thibodeaux explained the problem, and Boudreaux suggested that he could save himself a lot of work by digging the entrance down a little to make the opening larger.
Thibodeaux replied, “Mais, you couyon, I done tole you it was because his ears are too long. Not his legs !”