Our Family Tree….as we still do grieve

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Sometimes grief has a very ruthless way, of tearing loving families apart,

I never the least bit suspected, that this is how our grief would start.

After our only son, Bobby, died, and the funeral was all said and done,

My 3 adult children kept to themselves, like they were the only ones.

Like the only ones who suffered a loss, that was truly too much to bear,

We as their parents were left in the cold, like none of them even cared.

They’re still so angry and bitter, and it’s somehow directed at me,

I cannot figure out to save my life, what happened to our family tree.

I know we’re not the only ones, who lost Bobby’s precious face,

But why separate themselves from us so willingly?  It’s just such an awful waste.

I know that as humans, we all do grieve, in each our own individual way,

After we lost Bobby in a huge tragic fire, I just wanted to die that day.

Firefighter Robert Garner - Station #68

Firefighter Robert Garner – Station #68, Houston, TX

Then to lose all the girls directly after that, my life was in complete disarray,

How they can all 3 rewrite history, and then refuse us the time of day?

When our children are not at their very best, they sometimes read things into what we say,

I just don’t want to grieve alone, with my children and their love at bay.

It’s hard to know their thought process, when we gave them all we could,

Seeing them be so unkind right now, perhaps giving them so much wasn’t good.

I don’t need them to kiss our feet, or be with us all intertwined,

When they were little they were so sweet, but now our love is not returned in kind.

They have each other to grieve with, and they have each other to hold,

To leave us stranded, out by ourselves, just feels so unloving and cold.

I’ve always told them, always, that I’ll love them no matter what,

It’s sad to see the haste they had, in slamming their doors tightly shut.

Maybe sometime soon in fact, or out in the future one day,

They will let Jesus soften their heart, and they’ll come home in their own way.

Until that awesome day does come, we’ll be right here awaiting,

They’ll always be our little loved ones, hopefully, next time  appreciating.

Appreciating us as their parents, at the very least for giving them birth,

Appreciating us even as a human beings, who do have their own self worth.

God loves us as the parents we are, He loves all of us the same,

We could not control that Bobby died, how are we now the ones to blame?

Children honor your parents so that all will go well with you,

There is no reasoning with them – adult to adult – so what is a parent to do?

“Her children shall rise up and call her blessed”, Proverbs thirty one – twenty eight,

Having planted that seed when they were very young, it seems to have carried no weight.

Train them up in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart…,

We didn’t raise them to be bitter people. What is this unrest in their heart?

They seem to have no concept, of all the time that’s passing by,

The months and years could all be wasted, by the hateful devil’s lies.

I hope that one day they feel in their hearts, Jesus’ total love,

Jesus Christ Hugging Girl 2

To treat their parents with any less, must surely sadden God above.

We’re the only parents they’ll ever have, I hope they don’t wait too late,

By then our lives might be no more, then with us they won’t be able to participate.

We are definitely parents, who’ve made mistakes, for sure along the way,

Is it reasonable for them, to imagine, that a life of silence we should pay?

There is no one who is perfect, Lord knows they’ve made mistakes of their own,

To harbor such ill will toward their parents, seems to come from a planet unknown.

For it has been over a year and a half now, and as parents, we’ve changed a lot,

But because they choose no contact with us, they truly know us not.

This last year has been so sorrowful, and an unbearable revelation to me,

Who knew all of these angry sentiments were brewing, beneath our family tree?

As parents, we gave them all we had, even when we ourselves had none,

We always tried so hard with them, so our family would stay together as one.

Why do they hold resentments deep inside, instead of letting them out?

As long as they stay so out of touch, they may never completely sprout.

How can anyone begin to think, that one has knowledge of it all,

Then behave like a devastating tornado, in such a violent squall?

I hope one day they’ll have some peace, even if we are not here to see,

For them to have love and fulfillment on earth, is still very important to me.

We love them so with all of our hearts, this all came as such a shock,

To have such little respect for their parents, just hurts around the clock.

We never saw this coming our way, not even in a million years,

We just have to some how let it go, and let God catch all of our tears.

I know that God is with us, and He is with them each day too,

I hope the day comes very soon, when they can show love like they used to do.

These, are of course, rhetorical questions, that I don’t expect an answer to,

God will reveal all in due time, as I’ve learned, He will always do.

Our hearts go out to others, who may be suffering from this too,

All I know for sure for sure, is that God will always see us through.

Sometimes we just have to turn each day, our sorrows into laughter,

The joy of the Lord will keep us going, both here and in the hereafter.

 

“Lord please heal our family tree, it means so very much to me”

bandaid heart

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2 thoughts on “Our Family Tree….as we still do grieve

  1. Right now, some of the tiny limbs on our family tree are a bit weak, a bit wobbly, a bit undernourished, but there will come a day when the strength and power of the core roots of our family tree, built on our love and faith, will nourish those tiny limbs. Make them strong, unbending so that someday they become the roots of our family tree. Love, Grandpa Green.

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